Monday, May 2, 2011

needs over wants

I learned a lesson today. Well maybe not learned for the first time, but I was reminded of a lesson I have had to re-learn over and over again. (Why am I so stubborn?)

Isaac and I spent a couple of hours window shopping today, and by that I mean that I spent absolutely no money! (except $2.86 on lunch).. no applause necessary.

But here's why: We were in Kohl's and I was having to restrain myself because, man, do they have some cute clothes right now! But I did find a couple pairs of jeans to try on that were on clearance and a couple of tops. I only have 1 pair of jeans that fit me post-pregnancy right now so I figured I could splurge on a pair of $10 Vera Wang jeans.

Except Isaac didn't think that was such a great idea...

He was sleeping soundly in his stroller while I was trying on the said jeans. I'm standing there, pantless when all of a sudden he starts crying in his sleep (which is normal.. he was probably having a bad dream). And when I say crying, I mean wailing. Of course this wakes him up and instead of going back to sleep or cheering up at the sight of my beautiful face, he decides to cry some more. Great.

It had been about 2 hours since his last meal so I figure maybe he's hungry. I then proceed to try and nurse him in the dressing room but he was not having it. That kid never rejects food!

Now, instead of getting to buy the clearance jeans that I need want, I had to tend to the 3 month old who needed me. He just needed me to hold him and comfort him and take him home so he could nap comfortably.

So there I was, pantless, nursing bra unhooked and top pulled up, barefoot, holding a baby in one arm trying to get my jeans and shoes on with my free hand. We put all the cute, marked down, never to be seen again clothes back on the rack and walked out of Kohl's, empty-handed.

Wow, I don't think that has ever happened!

Here's the lesson: The needs of my son are SO much more important than my wants. Heck, the needs of my son are more important than my needs! He's a baby and he needs me. He relies on me and I'm responsible for him.

Wow does motherhood teach you humility and to be completely selfless and I couldn't be happier about it.

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